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This is where men play hard in a raunchy, hyper-masculine environment. Unlike in other cruise clubs you can wear normal clothes here. You can also parade around in fetish gear! Cruise your way along the suckatorium or situate yourself within it. Are you looking for other kinky gay men who share your interest in BDSM? Find out where you can meet men in your community for gay BDSM dating and hookups. Whether you're looking for an upscale fetish club, an intimate private dungeon, a high-energy swingers’ venue, or a welcoming LGBTQ+ kink space, there's something for every preference and experience level.

Today, we're stepping out of the private playrooms and into the pulsating heart of the gay BDSM community - the clubs. These venues offer a space to explore your kinks, meet like-minded gay men, and immerse yourself in the vibrant energy of the BDSM scene. Robin Bauer. New York: Palgrave MacMillan , Sadomasochism is becoming mainstream. This would, I imagine, be as surprising to those original Viennese readers who had their femme-domme fantasies ignited by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's Venus im Pelz , as to the clandestine frequenters of the back rooms of San Francisco's gay leather bars in the s, which can be now seen on the current postage stamps of Finland.

James's best-selling Fifty Shades of Grey , with its sequels and the blockbuster movie, made sure that everybody has now heard of "The Lifestyle. This is convenient—after all, communities of practice are all about boundaries, as every sociologist knows, and in the face of stigmatization by psychiatrists in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM and lawyers in the courtroom, sadomasochists are often careful to represent themselves as decidedly not ill and not criminal.

But just as some people bought the story of Stephen Gordon's love for Mary Llewellyn, someone must be buying the dungeon accoutrements on display in the back corners of local sex shops, past the Lelo vibrators and the how-to books. We know from Danielle J. Lindemann's Dominatrix: Gender, Eroticism, and Control in the Dungeon that increasingly people are paying for BDSM services, while different crowds entirely are getting their kink on at an ever-growing number of public BDSM sex parties around town, with all sexual identities catered for, usually separately, as straight, gay, lesbian, and queer communities all put on their own version of BDSM play parties.

Certainly, BDSM is now popular, but there is much contest over who gets to represent it.

r/GayBDSMCommunity: A place for gay

Formerly, psychiatrists and lawyers alone had all the power to do so, and BDSM ographers were persecuted, and the spaces where it might take place were regulated. Then came the various BDSM communities, who started to claim their political voice and their bodily rights. Next came the academics. Rubin's classic essay, "Thinking Sex" , at least five full-length ethnographic studies of aspects of BDSM in specific communities have been published since , including the book under review.

These are: Lindemann's study of cis-female BDSM sex workers, Dominatrix ; Margot Wiess's nonparticipant study of straight BDSM parties in San Francisco, Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality ; Staci Newmahr's Playing on the Edge: Sadomasochism, Risk, and Intimacy , where she played the role of a participant-observer ethnographer-bottom to study play parties in North America; and Andrea Beckmann's The Social Construction of Sexuality and Perversion: Deconstructing Sadomasochism , which effectively used Foucault's ideas about the sexual body to argue against the legal sanctions against the practice of BDSM, comparing it to other extreme sports like boxing or rugby in terms of the pleasure and pain that these activities involve.

This dungeon industry within academia has a growing number of scholars researching various aspects of BDSM, and it apparently is following the step of other areas of sexual research intensification, for example, into sex work or ography. Now is the time to be researching these marginalized areas of sexual history and sociology, as we have better theoretical tools available to us, as Bauer's book demonstrates.

In queer communities, one can often hear talk about the construction of identities in relation to power structures in ways that are theoretically sophisticated, even if they are not name-dropping; the activism and the lives are often grounded in theory. There is the sense that these politically engaged queer communities are one of the places where the students of gender and cultural studies departments end up using what they have learned in their arts degrees—putting Judith Butler or Foucault to work in order to fashion themselves in ways that rely on a sophisticated negotiation of power, gender, sexuality, consent, pleasure, the body, etc.

Bauer's interview partners are sophisticated and thoughtful; they are engaged citizens in their community, not blindly following what lawyers and psychiatrists say about them. Their voices are put to good use in this book when Bauer deftly uses their words as a way of negotiating the heady terrain of queer theory.

BDSM identities seem to develop instead in micro-settings, for example, at The Catacombs in the s, described by Rubin.

More of a sense of their "historical selves" might have been sought by Bauer in his interviews when constructing a genealogy of BDSM; we might have found more about how the community relates to its past, or to the regulatory discourses that control it, namely, psychiatry and the law. Bauer uses his particular variety of queer theory to inform his understanding of what happens in BDSM scenes. He draws much from Deleuzean conceptions of desire and pleasure, which were formed in partial distinction from Foucault's emphasis on pleasure.

In a typically elegant passage, Bauer maintains: "While desires incite bodies to move, pleasures are experienced exactly when bodies are opened to touch through lingering. A body experiencing pleasure is lost in a moment of enduring intensities, defying categories, accepting what is rather than how things might be. Pleasure is not directed at something and, rather than being associated with motion, it is about stillness: it is being in the moment without an intentional directedness Pleasure in this sense actively opens up undefined spaces for new ways of being and experiencing, and constructing new kinds of subjectivities Pleasure can produce precisely a state of losing oneself, of letting go and therefore opening up the embodied subject to transformations and reinventions, becoming a deterritorializing force" p.

These intimate spaces where one can enter a state of unrefined pleasure, where one can let go and construct new subjectivities, where one can lose oneself—these are the spaces that BDSM practices create, according to Bauer's study. They involve a negotiation of power, they involve a negotiation of boundaries, and they actively involve the body in the formation of social relations.