Gay old with young

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There are loads of hurdles to getting a gay young old relationship. From accepting your attraction to older or younger gay men, to how to actually find your perfect partner. Many gay bars cater to younger, attractive crowds, leaving older men to the fringes of the social scene. Yet for people like Felsenthal, these older men are the ones who bring them comfort, stability, and a sense of belonging. Like many gay men searching for intimacy in the modern day, the photographer Matthew Morrocco has found his share of it online.

But the glossy Adonis of the Instagram era is not his type. He. Peter Robinson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. This is what a year-old black gay activist in Los Angeles told me of his views on same-sex marriage.

We know that generally older Australians are less supportive of same-sex marriage. In , I interviewed a small international sample of men as part of my research on sexuality and ageing. Most of the men over 50 were dubious, if not opposed, to gay marriage, while most of those under 30 were supportive. While these results may not apply directly to Australia in , they are indicative of a generational divide between young and old gay men.

These older men have largely remained silent in the current same-sex marriage debate. It is vital that we listen to their perspectives, because older gay men are an already marginalised group, experiencing greater financial and social insecurity than younger men. We must ensure that same-sex marriage should it be legalised does not further sideline their experiences.

One aspect of same-sex marriage that could confuse older gay men, and possibly also lesbians, is that it is at odds with beliefs they might have formed when they were young. In the early s, feminists and gay liberationists asked their followers to think about how to liberate their own needs from the constraints of family, and experiment with alternative forms of intimate relationships, very different to the idea of nuclear family: heterosexual married parents with biological children.

In the early days, these relationships were as simple as two men regarding themselves as an item. The acknowledgement of friends, and sometimes siblings and parents, was enough public acceptance. Children from surrogacy or informal insemination between gays and lesbians became more common in the early s.

Gay marriage would suit propertied gays and social conservatives who want the security of marriage for their relationships. It would also suit gay religious observers who want to make peace with their church and vicar or synagogue and Rabbi and be accepted by them.

Many gay bars cater to younger,

Maintaining gay relationships without church or state sanction takes courage and perseverance. Marriage and children may appeal to young gay men because the alternative is to place their trust in community organisations and the social practices of the gay world. These are not always uniform or supportive. For example, I have argued that bars and clubs are the only safe space for gay men to congregate and socialise in large numbers.

Many of the young men I spoke to, however, complained of the impoverished relationships gay men formed there. He justified his views as a more wholesome lifestyle than he had observed in clubs and bars where in his view drug taking and casual sex were commonplace.

Others spoke of benefits relating to property and estate planning. Garth psuedonym a year-old university student from Melbourne, told me,. I can see like the benefits for like tax purposes and division of estate and stuff if someone dies so that makes it completely understandable as to why you would want to [get married]. Other research shows that young gay men under 30 almost uniformly support gay marriage as a right or because, like their straight brothers and sisters, they want to mark and celebrate the success of their relationship achievement.

It is not clear what effect same-sex marriage would have on gay people and the gay world. My suspicion is that its effect would be conservative. This could explain why it has the support of some religious figures and conservative commentators. Should same-sex marriage be approved, the fear among radical queers is that it would become the gold standard for same-sex relationships and other relationship styles would be regarded as less worthy.

This is about more than marriage. My latest research shows that gay men aged 60 and over had a strong propensity not to stop working after retirement and to have poorly planned superannuation. These men told me they used work to keep retirement boredom at bay.